They don't get very many moments like this, when their shared space is just theirs without anything else in the way, Vash warm and soft and sweet and pliant in his lap. His own personal miniature sun, a light so bright that he doesn't pause to think for a moment how dark the shadows behind him must be, because it doesn't matter. Not when Vash smiles at him, not when he kisses him like he's something to be treasured instead of something better left behind and scavenged.
It makes his heart break for what still lies ahead in their future, in his future, but like this he can pretend. Pretend that he's the good guy the other thinks he is, and not working for the other side.
He sighs into another kiss, though it's really more of a rumble than anything else, one hand threading long fingers through messy blond hair while the other traces circles over the rise of a hipbone beneath the hem of his shirt. When he pulls back, there's a soft look of awe etched clear into every line of his expression as there always is when he looks at him directly. It doesn't hurt to stare into the sun, much as everyone likes to think it does. Not this one.
"You're too pretty for your own damn good, you know that?"
Vash has one leg on either side of Nicholas's. He still has his clothes on because it's hard to coax him out of them at the best of times, not only because he's self-conscious but because it's dangerous. They might have to run at any moment; that's the kind of life he has to lead. It's the kind of life Nicholas leads too, he knows, though they don't speak of it in such terms.
If Vash knows where this road ends, of course he doesn't speak about that either. Vash is always lying to himself about something, and what's one more thing to pretend he doesn't see the signs of, especially when Nicholas looks at him not like something to be feared or hated or killed, but something…worthwhile. Someone worthwhile. It's been ages since he had that.
Well, there's Nai, but we don't talk about that here. Nai is complicated, and it's been years since he's seen his brother anyway, longer than Nicholas has even been alive.
Vash blushes easily anyway, but how can he not with words like that directed at him? His gaze slides away, embarrassed. He can't take a compliment, even from this close. His metal fingers play at the edge of Nicholas's jacket, seeking a distraction. This is too much focus on him!
"Nicholas, shh," he says, leaning in to cover the other man's mouth with his. If he sticks his tongue in Nicholas's mouth, then he doesn't have to hear words like that.
It isn't that he doesn't like them. He just…doesn't know what to do with them, where to put that sort of thing.
He knows how dangerous it can be, any level of intimacy at any given time should they have to pick up and clear out without a fraction of a moment's notice — and he's reticent to even admit how much he wants the feel of Vash's skin against his own, because he'll be damned if he thinks he actually deserves something so simple, even if he can be a greedy son of a bitch when it comes to him.
( Sometimes, just having him close like this is enough, and he can pretend he doesn't want more nearly all the time. Vash's presence alone is an intoxicating sort of thing, an addiction in its own right, and at least that isn't something that might end up killing him.
Ah … but are you sure about that? )
He looks at him like he doesn't because he really, really doesn't think he's ever seen something, someone so fucking beautiful in the whole off his life, the sort of thing he shouldn't be able to touch in the first place because he breaks everything he touches, but Vash has always accepted him just as he, in turn, has accepted Vash for everything he is, and if that means he has to drill into that spiky head of his that he is worthwhile, well. He doesn't have a problem with that in the slightest.
He noses at the edge of his jaw as those fingers toy with his jacket, and he shifts just as much as he needs to shrug it off of his shoulders and let the fabric pool about his hips, chuckling into the kiss and letting his teeth catch on the tip of the other's tongue once it slides into his mouth, sharp but playful, everything he's never been with much of anyone else.
( Hell, who is he kidding? He's never been exactly like this with anyone. )
Both of his own hands slip beneath the hem of Vash's top layer to smooth over his sides, fingers digging into the dip of his slender ( fucking tiny ) waist. "What? M'allowed to have an opinion, aren't I?"
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timeasmymeasure
you'll never understand ( how beautiful you really are );
Date: 2023-05-15 07:50 pm (UTC)It makes his heart break for what still lies ahead in their future, in his future, but like this he can pretend. Pretend that he's the good guy the other thinks he is, and not working for the other side.
He sighs into another kiss, though it's really more of a rumble than anything else, one hand threading long fingers through messy blond hair while the other traces circles over the rise of a hipbone beneath the hem of his shirt. When he pulls back, there's a soft look of awe etched clear into every line of his expression as there always is when he looks at him directly. It doesn't hurt to stare into the sun, much as everyone likes to think it does. Not this one.
"You're too pretty for your own damn good, you know that?"
no subject
Date: 2023-05-25 03:12 pm (UTC)If Vash knows where this road ends, of course he doesn't speak about that either. Vash is always lying to himself about something, and what's one more thing to pretend he doesn't see the signs of, especially when Nicholas looks at him not like something to be feared or hated or killed, but something…worthwhile. Someone worthwhile. It's been ages since he had that.
Well, there's Nai, but we don't talk about that here. Nai is complicated, and it's been years since he's seen his brother anyway, longer than Nicholas has even been alive.
Vash blushes easily anyway, but how can he not with words like that directed at him? His gaze slides away, embarrassed. He can't take a compliment, even from this close. His metal fingers play at the edge of Nicholas's jacket, seeking a distraction. This is too much focus on him!
"Nicholas, shh," he says, leaning in to cover the other man's mouth with his. If he sticks his tongue in Nicholas's mouth, then he doesn't have to hear words like that.
It isn't that he doesn't like them. He just…doesn't know what to do with them, where to put that sort of thing.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-29 09:08 pm (UTC)( Sometimes, just having him close like this is enough, and he can pretend he doesn't want more nearly all the time. Vash's presence alone is an intoxicating sort of thing, an addiction in its own right, and at least that isn't something that might end up killing him.
Ah … but are you sure about that? )
He looks at him like he doesn't because he really, really doesn't think he's ever seen something, someone so fucking beautiful in the whole off his life, the sort of thing he shouldn't be able to touch in the first place because he breaks everything he touches, but Vash has always accepted him just as he, in turn, has accepted Vash for everything he is, and if that means he has to drill into that spiky head of his that he is worthwhile, well. He doesn't have a problem with that in the slightest.
He noses at the edge of his jaw as those fingers toy with his jacket, and he shifts just as much as he needs to shrug it off of his shoulders and let the fabric pool about his hips, chuckling into the kiss and letting his teeth catch on the tip of the other's tongue once it slides into his mouth, sharp but playful, everything he's never been with much of anyone else.
( Hell, who is he kidding? He's never been exactly like this with anyone. )
Both of his own hands slip beneath the hem of Vash's top layer to smooth over his sides, fingers digging into the dip of his slender ( fucking tiny ) waist. "What? M'allowed to have an opinion, aren't I?"